Reaching items on high shelves isn’t always easy, but we’ve been busy working on a new solution: bouncy aisles – we’re rolling them out this year across the UK!
I look forward to Fridays for a number of reasons, one being it’s the day The Barnsley Chronicle is published so I can find out what’s been happening locally, yes, the Chronicle truly is a local paper for local people and they never allow the facts to get in the way of a good story.
If your local paper comes out today it may be worth your while buying a copy if you don’t already do so. You may be surprised by what you find as indeed I was a couple of years ago.
This is, or rather was an item from my then, local paper, The Rotherham Advertiser, dated Friday June 28th 2013 and, as I know you like a laugh, I felt it my duty to publish this item on here.
Apparently these are extracts from actual letters written to local councils:
“It’s the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.”
“I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burned my knob off.”
“I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.”
“I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.”
“My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?”
“I m writing on behalf of my sink, which is now coming away from the wall.”
“Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.”
“I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.”
“Fifty per cent of the walls are damp, 50 per cent have crumbling plaster, and 50pc are just plain filthy.”
“I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.”
“The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.”
“Will you please send a man to look at my water. it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.”
“Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.”
“The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.”
“Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send somebody round to do something about it.”
“I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.”
“I have had the Clerk Of Works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.”
“This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can’t get BBC2.”
“From The Graves.” Charlie Graves takes a sideways look at life, each and every week in The Rotherham Advertiser.
Just for a bit of fun, and I have to say that as there are no prizes involved, we need a suitable, and I can’t stress the word “Suitable” enough, caption for this photo which was taken by my pal Tony, at Northern College, earlier today. The story behind it is… Well, come up with your own ideas, the more creative the better.
What Do you think they are saying/ Please keep it clean. Answer below please.
The All New International John Carver Wireless Show
What a con these “Oven Gloves” are. I recently poured a casserole into mine. Two hours later I returned to find the casserole uncooked and a terrible mess on the kitchen floor.
Have you experienced similar problems with any household items? If you have please let me know at: johncarverwirelessshow@gmail.com
Maybe a good place to hide my new collection of money.
What are your thoughts on this?
The All New International John Carver Wireless Show
Why does the Post Office insist on always printing their postmark over the stamps on envelopes? It’s so infuriating. Surely it would lead to great savings if the stamps were unmarked and could be used again when replying to correspondence.
Yellow warning of snow
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- From: 1800 on Tue 3 February To: 1100 on Wed 4 February
Warning
Showers of sleet and snow will continue to affect many eastern and particularly northeastern parts of the UK through the rest of this evening and into Wednesday giving icy stretches on untreated surfaces. The focus of showers is likely to transfer from northern and eastern Scotland and northeast England to parts of eastern and southeastern England on Tuesday night, with a few possibly penetrating into central England. Rain and sleet is more likely near exposed coasts but slightly further inland local snow accumulations of 1-3 cm are possible above around 100 m, with perhaps 5-10 cm over the Grampians and North York Moors. Most inland areas of the south should miss the snow. The snow showers will ease across much of Scotland later in the night.
The public should be aware of the potential for disruption to travel. This warning has been updated to change it to a combined ice and snow warning. The start time has been brought forward to this evening and the end time brought forward to the middle of tomorrow, Wednesday.